My Name Is Elizabeth!

"One of the most basic ways of showing respect for others is to refer to them by the names with which they have chosen to identify themselves and to avoid using names that they consider offensive."

--American Heritage Book of English Usage

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

--James 3:17-18

Call people by the name they choose for themselves.  That is the simple message of this book.  It is an easy way to walk in humility and show love.  It brings peace. 

I read this book to the children as a way of teaching them this basic curtesy, but it is a lesson we adults need to learn too.   I've heard Christians talk about the "burden" of political correctness and how changing labels confuse and frustrate.  Whatever the disadvantages there may be to frequent name changes, we Christians need to do it.  Why would we refuse?  Are our reasons important to God?  Do those reasons align with what James teaches us about godly wisdom? 

As a mother of a child with a disability, the word "handicap" smarts in a way that other people don't understand.  In the United States, people with disabilities are being treated better than they have ever been treated in the past.  This is not stagnant.  Every generation has the opportunity to mature and improve on the one before.  With each new name change, comes a degree of elevation for people born with exceptionalities, and so when we use outdated words, we are reflecting past (inferior) mentalities, mentalities that are often referenced in jokes and insults.  

 Let's look at this practically.  What is expected?  For instance, how do we know that people who were formally known as midgets now prefer the term "little people"?  We pay attention.  We educate ourselves.  We correct our mistakes.  On many occasions I have spoken out of ignorance.   My words have hurt and offended, but since I began to pray about it, the Lord has shown me several ways that I have been insensitive to others.  I'm glad.  I simply apologize and work to correct my mistake.  I don't walk on eggshells, but I do look for opportunities to learn how best to love.

Take the time this week to consider how others prefer to be addressed.   It does not matter that you wouldn't be offended if you were them.   It does not matter that you know one or two persons of that group who are not insulted by your aniquated words.  Of course people have varying sensitivities.  Our job is to not to please those bothered the least, but to please the "weak."  

 This is a preachy post, but I preach to myself a much as to anyone (I Timothy 1:15).

Read this article and download the pdf Disability Handbook at the bottom of the page.  

 

What words do you find offensive?  What do you believe are the biggest obstacles in learning to speak with love and sensitivity?  

 

 

Comments

[Kirsti @ Lovely LaLaLand]

I love your words, Lisa. Thank you for the gentle reminder. As someone who is almost daily pointed out as different because of my height I feel terrible when I realize I've been flippant toward someone else. I appreciate your wisdom and advice.

[Amy]

Thanks, Lisa. I read the article you linked and learned that I should be calling it our accessible parking space. I don't like the word handicap either.